The Nest is Emptying
A week from Tuesday, my 19 year-old daughter, Cindi, will be moving out and into the University of Wisconsin-Parkside college dorm, as a Sophomore. She went to school last year, but commuted the 30+ miles every day of the week. With the rising cost of gasoline, and her desire to focus more on school, we’ve come to the conclusion it would be better for her all the way around to move into the dorm.
I like the idea. I’m glad she’s doing it. That doesn’t mean I won’t miss her. Cindi and I are very close, and it’s going to be difficult when she leaves. I’ll probably sob like a baby, but I know she has to do this.
Twenty-one-year-old Kelli moved out last April. She gave us one day’s notice, had no firm plan and no money. I was frantic. Funny enough though, she is making it – barely, but making it. When Kelli left, I didn’t think I was going to survive it.
All these years, Tom and I have been “dreaming” about the empty nest – wishing for it, anticipating it, wanting it. And yet, now that it is almost completely upon us, I’m not too crazy about it. The truth is, I want my children around me. I want them around me forever. They are constantly on my mind and in my heart. Whatever happened to the nuclear family? What was so wrong with that set-up? It doesn’t seem right that we’ve got this big four-bedroom, four-bath house, and no kids to fill it up with.
Our son stays with us, but only because he can’t afford to move out yet. If he could, he’d be out there in a heartbeat, away from me. If he could, he would get as far away from me as he could possibly make it. That doesn’t seem right.
But I remember when all I wanted in my life was to get away from my parents. I wanted my own place in the world. I wanted responsibility. I wanted confidence. I wanted to grow up. When it comes down to it, I don’t really want my children to grow up. I’d be happy if they were little again.
I know this is the way life is supposed to be; that my children are supposed to grow up and leave me, but I don’t have to like it. I don’t have to ever get used to it, and I honestly don’t think I ever will. That’s not a complaint, just a fact, and I needed to express it.
Perhaps when they marry and bring me grandchildren, I’ll be able to get the big picture. But until then, I’m not buying into the “niceties” of the empty nest. Just as I never received a manual when the children were born, I don’t quite know how to handle this leaving home business. I guess it’ll come in time; raising them did. I sure have been blessed to have had that experience.
The truth is I know it’ll all work out. It’s just going to take me a little time to get used to the idea of the empty nest.
